EULOGY - by Ray O'Bannon

we are gathered here together 'round this simple pinewood box
and a word about it's contents must be said
he was not a charming fellow and he hadn't any friends
though he's grown much less repulsive since he's dead

he never did a simgle act of kindness in his life
and a crumby wretch more vile could not be found
he was altogether ghastly and we really can't be blamed
if we're smiling as we plant him in the ground

we should like to say how bad we feel
how deeply grim and such
but in truth we didn't ever really
like him very much

we doubt he had a conscience, he was heartless as a rock
and we've never seen a man so very small
if he winds up pushing daiseys up then that would be the first time
that he's ever done us any good at all
we've never seen a bigger creep, that's why the coffin's extra cheap
we can't be sure he had a soul to save
but the few bills in his wallet and his jewelry may suffice
to repay the chaps who've had to dig his grave

didn't ever, really ever like him very much